Time to get ready for the day, today is filled with blood work, nurses, and people asking how you are doing. Of course you smile and tell them your doing great… and I am doing great considering time is standing still… let me explain.
- Vacations: can’t plan any
- Work: no idea when I will be back in the office
- House: new powder room/kitchen, not when my chemo is hundreds of $$ each month. (with insurance)
- Reunion with friends: I can stop by maybe but raging all-nighters, not in my playbook
- Fantasy football: no game plan and draft is next week
- Family Holidays: attendance depends on my ANC
- My GP’s 90th b-day party: attendance depends on ANC
- Life: on hold for a couple months
I don’t want to seem like I’m complaining, but fuck it, am I. I got fucking cancer. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone else. I have been told how strong I am and how well I am dealing with this. I am just doing what I do. I couldn’t imagine approaching it any other way.
My job is to beat this thing. In a few months when I am in molecular remission, beginning my maintenance phase, my job will still be there, my house projects will still be there, vacations will be planned, family holidays will be attended, I will take my pop-pop out for his 91st birthday dinner next November, I will make it to the Pocono’s for the reunion(s). The waters will recede, life will return to (my new) normal.
When I first met my oncologist she told me I would beat this, she told me about how I would look back on this time 60 years from now and be proud of how I handled myself. She reiterated this again a few weeks ago to me when she told me how she loves to attend her patients’ weddings, getting birth announcements, following them thru their lives. She said we become like her extended family.
So on days like today its important I remember the big picture. I have an amazing girlfriend, a great family, good friends, fantastic doctors and medical professionals caring for me. My employer has been nothing but supportive and quite frankly have gone out of their way to make this as seamless as possible for me.
SO if your reading this, thank you for giving me a way to vent my frustrations, not judging me and being so supportive. I know it’s hard on most of you as well.
But I would ask you all do me a huge favor, please support me and donate to the LLS Light the Night Fundraiser, we are walking on October 22, 2011 to support people like me and those who weren’t so fortunate.
Also there might have been some confusion, I am inviting all of you to walk with us on 10/22. It would be great if our friends and family would participate with us that night, it will be a time to reflect and celebrate. For anyone that donates, we are making special Down with Disease team T-shirt designed by Lauren Converse of DiD Marketing. If you are interested in getting one please comment or email me.
Here is the design:
P.S. For all of you that know me, I have always had a full head of thick curly brown hair, well I am sad to say that the Chemo is catching up with my hair, its beginning to thin out. I will probably shave it within the next 2 weeks. good thing I already know what I will look like, since I shaved my head back in 2000 when I crossed the equator.